and his students:
In the period
that Einstein was active as a professor, one of his students came
to him and said: "The questions of this year's exam are the
same as last years!" "True," Einstein said,
"but this year all answers are different."
Einstein and German music:
Einstein was attending a music salon in Germany before the second
world war, with the violinist S. Suzuki. Two Japanese women played a
German piece of music and a woman in the audience excaimed: "How
wonderful! It sounds so German!" Einstein responded: "Madam,
people are all the same."
Einstein and his driver:
The story is that
Albert Einstein's driver used to sit at the back of the hall during each
of his lectures, and after a period of time, remarked to AE that he
could probably give the lecture himself, haveing heard it several times.
So at the next stop on the tour, AE & the driver switched places,
with AE sitting at the back, in driver's uniform. The driver gave the
lecture, flawlessly. At the end, a member of the audience asked a
detailed question about some of the subject matter, upon which the
lecturer replied, 'well, the answer to that question is quite simple, I
bet that my driver, sitting up at the back, there, could answer it...'.
How many Einsteins does it take to change a lightbulb? A:
depends on the speed of the changer, and the mass of the bulb. Or vice
versa, of course. Then it just might be easier to leave the bulb alone
and change the room. It's all relative.
Albert Einstein arrives at a
party and introduces
himself to the first person he sees and asks, "What is
your IQ?" to which the man answers "241." "That is
wonderful!" says Albert. "We will talk about the Grand
Unification Theory and the mysteries of the universe.
We will have much to discuss!"
Next Albert introduces
himself to a woman and asks,
"What is your IQ?" to which the lady answers, "144."
"That is great!" says Albert. "We can discuss politics
and current affairs. We will have much to discuss!"
Albert then goes to
another person and asks, "What is
your IQ?" to which the man answers, "51." Albert
ponders this for a moment, and then says, "GO
Q: Why did Albert Einstein
cross the street? A: To get away from Niels Bohr. But when he got to the
other side Bohr was there also.
Einstein in Heaven:
Einstein dies and goes
to heaven only to be informed that his room is not yet ready. "I
hope you will not mind waiting in a dormitory. We are very sorry, but
it's the best we can do and you will have to share the room with
others." he is told by the doorman (say his name is Pete). Einstein
says that this is no problem at all and that there is no need to make
such a great fuss. So Pete leads him to the dorm. They enter and Albert
is introduced to all of the present inhabitants. "See, Here is your
first room mate. He has an IQ of 180!" "Why that's
wonderful!" Says Albert. "We can discuss mathematics!"
"And here is your second room mate. His IQ is 150!" "Why
that's wonderful!" Says Albert. "We can discuss physics!"
"And here is your third room mate. His IQ is 100!" "That
Wonderful! We can discuss the latest plays at the theater!" Just
then another man moves out to capture Albert's hand and shake it.
"I'm your last room mate and I'm sorry, but my IQ is only 80."
Albert smiles back at him and says, "So, where to you think
interest rates are headed?"
Mrs Einstein in an American
Lab: Before they
immigrated to the US, the Einsteins endured the severe economic
situation in post WWI Germany. Mrs. E saved old letters and other scrap
paper for Albert to write on and so continue his work. Years later, Mrs.
Einstein was pressed into a public relations tour of some science
research center. Dutifully she plodded through lab after lab filled with
gleaming new scientific napery, The American scientists explaining
things to her in that peculiarly condescending way we all treat
non-native speakers of our own language. Finally she was ushered into a
high-chambered observatory, and came face to face with another, larger,
scientific contraption. "Well, what's this one for?" she
muttered. "Mrs. Einstein, we use this equipment to probe the
deepest secrets of the universe," cooed the chief scientist.
"Is THAT all!" snorted Mrs. E. "My husband did that on
the back of old envelopes!"