High Holiday Humor
A good laugh is always
good for mind and the soul, and more so, if it happens to
be in tune with the
ongoing festival. We have a small collection of High Holiday jokes
below. We hope that you will like them. Please
forward this site to your friends, for jokes are for sharing!
Also note that these are just jokes, not be taken seriously.
was in front of me coming out of the Synagogue one day, and as
always the Rabbi was standing at the door shaking hands as the
congregation departed. He grabbed my friend by the hand and pulled
him aside. The Rabbi said to him, "You need to join the Army
of G-d!" My friend replied, "I'm already in the Army of
questioned, "How come I don't see you except for Rosh Hashana
and Yom Kippur?" He whispered back, "I'm in the secret
Blowing the Chauffeur
A Catholic chauffeur was bragging
to his friend how well the Jewish family who employed him treated
him. "You wouldn't believe it," he said. "I get
tips galore, and they always buy me lunch or dinner when I drive.
My salary is great, with benefits! I get off all holidays,
including the Jewish ones, like Rosh Hashanah."
"That sounds pretty good," said the friend. "But
what's Rosh Hashanah?"
"Oh, that's when they blow the shofar**."
"Wow!" said the amazed friend. "Those are SOME
(** The Shofar, a ram's horn, is the oldest wind instrument. The
sounding of the Shofar is the most ancient rite in the Rosh
A Jewish parent calls his son in
New York. The father says to David, "I hate to tell you, but
your mother and I can't stand each other anymore, and we are
divorcing. That's it!! I want to live out the rest of my years in
peace. I am telling you now, so you and your sister shouldn't go
into shock later when I move out." The father hangs up, and
David immediately calls his sister in the Hamptons and tells her
the news. The sister says, "I'll handle this." The
sister calls Florida and gets her father on the phone. She pleads
to her father, "Don't do ANYTHING 'til David and I get there!
We will be there Friday night." The father says, "All
right, all right already." When the father hangs up the phone
he hollers to his wife, "Okay, they're coming for Rosh
Ben Cohen is a devoutly religious
man who believes in the power of prayer. His house is caught in
the rising waters of a devastating flood. A row boat comes by to
rescue him; he refuses it because he waits for his God to save
him. As the waters rise Cohen climbs higher and higher up his
house, refusing each successive boat that comes by. Finally he
drowns and goes to heaven. He complains bitterly to the Lord that
he was such a good Jew and yet the Lord had forsaken him "How
can you say that?" the Lord retorts. "I sent four boats