One Liners to get everyone into the 
True Jovial Spirit of Mother's Day

If evolution really works, how come Mothers only have two hands ?

Personally, I think today's kids ought to do something really special for their Mothers on Mother's Day -- like move out !

Hey guys -- looking for a great gift for your Mother-in-Law on Mother's Day ? Why not send her back her daughter ???

A single Mom was asked by a friend what her son was taking in college. With a sigh she replied, "Everything I have."

Fathers -- take heart, your day is coming, and you can be sure of getting at least one thing -- the bills from Mother's Day.

Most Mothers are always amazed when their sons/daughters marry a person with much lower mental capacity, ambition and moral standards, yet still manage to have utterly brilliant children.

Mothers come in all shapes and sizes. For example, an Italian Mother might chastise her offspring for not eating by saying, "Eat your dinner, or I'll kill you." A Jewish Mother on the other hand would say, "Eat your dinner, or I'll kill myself."

A daughter broke-up with her boyfriend. She asked her Mother's advice about returning the gifts he'd given her. Without a pause, her Mother replied, "Send back the stuffed animals and letters, but keep the jewelry for sentimental reasons."